When the Ground Gives Way
- Susan Sander
- Jan 18
- 3 min read
The world has a way of feeling stable and predictable, until suddenly, it doesn't. Perhaps it was a routine check-up, a nagging symptom you finally got investigated, or an unexpected call. However it arrived, a medical diagnosis can feel like an emotional earthquake, shattering your sense of security and leaving you standing on shifting ground.
There's no "right" way to react to a diagnosis. Some of the emotional and physical reactions people experience are:
Shock and Numbness: As if the words aren't real, or they apply to someone else.
Fear: Of the unknown, of pain, of treatment, of what the future holds.
Anger: "Why me?" "This isn't fair!"
Sadness and Grief: For the life you thought you had, for lost opportunities, for potential changes.
Confusion: A complete inability to process information or make decisions.
Isolation: Feeling like no one truly understands what you're going through.
These are all natural mechanisms of your mind and body trying to cope with an overwhelming threat.
Ways to help steady yourself (or someone you care about):
Grant Yourself Permission to Feel (Anything and Everything): You don't need to be strong, positive, or brave right now. You just need to be. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to rage, rage (safely, of course). If you need to retreat, retreat. Suppressing these powerful emotions only makes them harder to process later. This isn't weakness; it's healing.
Acknowledge the "Fog": If you feel like your brain is swimming through treacle, or you can't remember what the doctor said five minutes after leaving the office, that's completely normal. Stress and trauma impact cognitive function. Take a trusted friend or family member to appointments if you can, or ask to record the conversation.
Mind Your Information Diet: It's tempting to dive headfirst into Google searching for answers, but this can often lead to a spiral of anxiety, exposing you to worst-case scenarios that may not apply to your specific situation.
Set Limits: If you must research, designate a specific, limited time each day (e.g., 30 minutes).
Seek Reputable Sources: Stick to trusted medical institutions (Mayo Clinic, Cleveland Clinic, or the information pages of your medical scheme) when seeking information.
Focus on the "Next Small Thing": The path ahead can look like an insurmountable mountain. Don't try to climb it all at once. Break things down into tiny, manageable steps.
"Today, I will make that phone call."
"Today, I will take a 10-minute walk."
Small victories create momentum and a sense of control amidst the chaos.
Re-Anchor to Your Routines: Even if they feel insignificant, maintaining simple routines can provide a comforting sense of normalcy and structure. Wake up at the same time, have your morning coffee, take a shower. These small anchors remind you that life continues, even if it feels different.
Find Your Impartial Ear: A psychologist, social worker or qualified counsellor can provide invaluable, impartial guidance. Friends and family are wonderful, but they often carry their own emotional burden related to your diagnosis. A mental health professional provides a safe space where you don't have to protect anyone else's feelings.
Specialised Support: Look for mental health professionals specialising in "health psychology," "chronic illness," or "medical trauma." They are equipped to help you navigate the unique emotional landscape of a medical diagnosis.
Patient Advocates: Many hospitals or healthcare systems offer social workers or patient advocates who can provide emotional support, help you understand your care options, and connect you with resources.
This news is a part of your story now, but it does not define your entire existence. Allow yourself to grieve, to be scared, to be angry. Then, with the support you need, start to find your footing again. Take it one breath, one step, one day at a time.
