Making sense of things when they do not make sense.

We have all experienced it. The overwhelming feeling when life circumstances, relationships, or our own inner turmoil become a tangled ball of knots that never seems to end, and nothing makes sense anymore. Even when you try to do better or think through it with more clarity, you often end up feeling confused as to what the first step is. Where do you begin? How do you start unravelling the chaos?

We often hear the term 'holistic' in the fields of medical and mental healthcare. Holistic refers to viewing the person as a whole, rather than focusing on one area of concern or a single symptom in isolation. The reason for this is quite simple: Humans are complex beings! They are influenced by factors within themselves and the people, cultures, societies, systems, and environments in which they grew up and are part of throughout their lives. Through experience, all the professions that support, guide, and help people start to recognise the links and patterns between various factors within and outside a person. When meeting you for the first time, they will have a conversation with you to gather relevant background information and gain a fuller picture of your current context and experience. For example, mental health professionals learn to ask questions about the factors most likely linked to a specific challenging behaviour, symptom, experience, thought or emotion.

Making sense of the in-person factors that play a role-

The first area that we need to consider is the person themselves, literally everything that is happening and has an influence from the skin inwards: their body's health and medical history, their age, their physical fitness, their understanding of themselves and the world they live in, their values and beliefs about the world, their unique personality and their level of cognitive functioning.

Making sense of the factors around the person that play a role-

The second area we need to consider is everything that is happening outside of the person at the moment. This includes their social context: for example, the quality of their relationships, family dynamics, educational background, current work environment and work history, economic status, socio-political dynamics of their context, and their current life stage.

Holistic care acknowledges that all these factors, both within and outside, are interconnected and influence each other continuously. In my first session with a client, I will not only introduce myself and the counselling process to them but also ask the client questions to gain a more holistic understanding of who they are and how they experience life, relationships, and the challenges that brought them to counselling. Sometimes, I may ask questions beforehand; other times, I will invite them to share their story, and I will ask follow-up questions afterwards. I usually sit with a pencil and pad to write short notes to myself that I can refer back to afterwards when I reflect on the session and consider the best way to support the client with their issue, given the information I have about their inner experiences and their outside life context.

Clients often find that retelling their story or answering specific questions helps them gain a deeper awareness of how they think about, feel, and behave in relation to a particular challenge or problem. This awareness can also be empowering, as they unpack their inner turmoil in a logical sequence, making it more tangible in a sense. Therefore, it is beneficial to both the counsellor and the client to talk through a problem or challenge and consider it holistically. Almost like taking a tangled ball of wool, unwind it and the roll it up into a workable ball again.